Helping Someone Overcome Shame and Despondence

Elyse Fitzpatrick takes us through a case study involving a homeschooling mother of five who has faithfully worked to educate her children and train them for the Lord. But the unthinkable has just happened. We will call her Madeline and her eldest daughter, who is 17, is pregnant. Madeline is crushed when she discovers that Hannah has been living a double life.

Elyse Fitzpatrick provides insights for helping people in situations like these overcome their shame and despondence by using gospel truths of forgiveness, belovedness, and adoption.

Step 1: Watch the Lecture

Step 2: Reading—The Freedom of Christian Thinking

Whatsoever things are true, … think on these things.

It is more painful to think about these things than to think about what we know, about what is old in our experience, because immediately we begin to think God’s thoughts after Him we have to bring concentration to bear, and that takes time and discipline. When once the mind begins to think, the horizon is continually broadening and widening, there is a general unsettlement, and the danger is to go back to the old confined way and become fanatical and obstinate. This explains why some people who really are God’s children have such an inveterate dislike of study. They do not quite call it the devil, but they come pretty near it. To give time to soak in God’s truth, time to find out how to think along God’s line, appears to them a snare and delusion. All the insubordination and difficulties and upsets come from the people who will not think. “Glean your thinking,” says Paul, and we must do it by will. What are we doing with our brains now that we have entered into the sanctified life? The Holy Spirit energizes the will to a complete mastery of the brain; then don’t be a wool-gatherer mentally. If we are saved and sanctified by God’s grace, it is unadulterated mental laziness on our part not to rouse ourselves up to think. It is not a question of the opportunities of learning, but of the determination to be continually renewed in the spirit of our mind.
— Oswald Chambers, The Moral Foundation of Life: A Series of Talks on the Ethical Principles of the Christian Life (Hants UK: Marshall, Morgan & Scott, 1936).

Step 3: Application Questions

In every lesson of every course the Redemption Seminary curriculum has students answer application questions. This work builds into a portfolio that demonstrates learning for the course. This approach (rather than term papers or exams) helps people with busy lives chip away and amass a wealth of wisdom to reflect upon. See how the Lord blesses your work in answering the following questions.

  1. Write out three Bible verses that came to mind or were alluded to within this study.

  2. What lies need displacing with the truth of the gospel in Madeline’s crisis?

  3. What theological truth has been especially helpful to you in a difficult time?

  4. After taking this lesson to the Lord in prayer, identify a habit or an orientation to a situation you can take that will strengthen your own relationship with our Lord Jesus.

Step 4: Ideas for Further Study